


41.82 Kilometers

by Shay_Fae



Series: Love me with the Lights off [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M, Teenlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Fae/pseuds/Shay_Fae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock knows the exact distance, down to the hundredth kilometer, between Eton and John's apartment in London.</p><p>Doesn't make the separation any easier.</p><p> </p><p>Bridge Chapters between the First and Second summers in a series but can be read as a standalone- if you like things like letters, cell phone conversations at 3 am, and ridiculously titled emails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And here we go! Sorry this chapter's a little short, just wanted something up for you to go to.
> 
> I've been dreaming of doing a fic in this style (ala' "Finger Slip." Best fanfic- read it :] )

How are you settling in?

_Bored. Nothing to do here, and classes haven’t started yet- SH_

You’ll be bored in class too.

_And least it’s something to look forward to- SH_

How’s your dorm?

_Fine. Seb’s across the hall from me- SH_

Do I need to come over and kick someone’s head in?

_No. You barbarian. –SH_

Don’t lie. You’re loving the mental image of me sweating, covered in blood from defending your honor, attacking me, shoving me up against the wall…

_John I’m talking to the housemaster now- SH_

Has he noticed you’re happy to see him?

_Oh shut up- SH_

Make me.

_How much longer- SH_

195 days Sherlock.

_Too long- SH_

_Sixth form may actually be more mind dulling than fifth form- SH_

Hey, I liked lower sixth. Did my first dissection that year

_I preformed my first dissection at age eleven- SH_

Cor. You’re not kidding.

_Why would I be?- SH_

_John, the boys in my set keeping looking at me funny- SH_

Probably wondering how you get your abs considering you don’t work out

_One of them walked over and asked who I was texting all day- SH_

Did you tell them it was your incredibly sexy, hunk of a boyfriend?

_I told them it was a friend of mine.- SH_

Close enough.

_They laughed- SH_

Hold on, looking up train scheduales to Eton.

_John, I'm perfectly capable of handling myself- SH_

I know. That’s why I love doing it for you.

_How much longer?- SH_

186 days.

_*phone call- 3 am*_

_“Hello?”_

_“_ Sherlock?”

_“John, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”_

“Yeah yeah sorry, did I wake you?”

_“Not important. Are you okay?”_

“Fine. I just wanted to hear your voice was all.”

_“….”_

_“John, did you have a nightmare?”_

“Christ. I thought I was done with these, you know?”

_“Did you run?”_

“No. Not exactly safe to go running through London at 11 pm.”

_“Tomorrow, try doing indoor exercizes. Push ups- sit ups- those sorts.”_

“Yeah okay, okay.”

_“John?”_

“Yeah Sherlock?”

_“Would you like me to stay on the phone till you fall asleep?”_

“Please Sherlock.”

_“Alright.”_

“Thank you.”

_“Goodnight John.”_

“Night Sherlock.”

_“….”_

_“How much longer.”_

“182 days.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in four hours? Hells yeah!  
> Who loves you? I love you.

_I put that picture of us by my bed- SH_

Which one?

_The one we took by the lake, with you pushing me in- SH_

Love that one

_Makes it less lonely at night- SH_

You’re welcome to call me if you get lonely

_Might make for a rather expensive phone bill- SH_

I have a picture of us by my bed too

_Which one- SH_

The one we took that last night, in my bed at the house. Where you have your eyes half closed.

_I like that one- SH_

It’s like pretending you’re still sleeping next door.

_How much longer?- SH_

179 days

_That’s it. I’m inventing a time machine- SH_

I have complete faith in you.

 

 

 

_I’ve been thinking- SH_

Oh no

_No, you’ll like this. I was thinking I could try and see you at long leave- SH_

What’s long leave?

_We get a long weekend every set. This one’s for Michaelmas-_ _SH_

We don’t get long leaves

_Benefit of boarding school- SH_

Wait, you could come to me for long leave?

_Technically I’m supposed to spend it with Mummy and Mycroft- SH_

But…

_But wouldn’t it be just like Sherlock, getting lost on the tube for four hours? So much can happen in four short hours…- SH_

Sherlock, you utter berk

_Wandering around, all alone, it’s no surprise if someone were to_ find _me- SH_

Are you suggesting I wait in the corner of King’s Cross Station on the off chance a Dolce Gabana model wanders past so I can assault him?

_Yes- SH_

I’ll be there at four

_Perfect- SH_

_How much longer- SH_

3 days you berk!

 

 

_I’m thinking of wearing my purple shirt- SH_

You slay me

_I could wear your gray tee-shirt. You left it with me by accident- SH_

Go with purple. Makes you look edible.

_Edible?- SH_

Oh don’t pretend like you don’t know what you look like in your clothes.

_I’m well aware. Edible is just a new one- SH_

Well, all my teachers said I was incredibly creative.

_Not what they had in mind, yeah? – SH_

Not at all.

_How much longer?- SH_

One more day

 

 

 

*Phone call- 4:30 pm*

_“Where are you?”_

“I’m by the southside entrance.”

_“I’m looking for you but I don’t see you.”_

“I’m waving my hands. Can you see- mmmmph!”

-disconnected-

 

 

_People on the train are staring at me- SH_

Pull your collar up!

_But you worked so hard on these. Be a shame if no one got to appreciate their artistic value- SH_

You’re a berk

_And you’re blushing furiously- SH_

It was good to see you, even for just a few hours.

_I saved them in a special file. They’re right in your room in the memory palace- SH_

I have my own room?

_You have your own floor.- SH_

I adore you Sherlock.

_I adore you John- SH_

Hey Sherlock?

_Yes?- SH_

Have you been practicing… you know. That thing with your tongue?

_Perhaps- SH_

Jesus

_Oh, I don’t think he wants anything to do with this conversation- SH_

Shut up.

_How much longer?- SH_

173 days Sherlock

_Perhaps we should count them in minutes- SH_

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when I have days off. I just post chapters all the live-long day. Not that y'all are complaining ;)

_I had a dream about you yesterday. –SH_

Oh?

_It was a nice dream- SH_

_You were quite naked- SH_

Call me. Now.

 

*Phone call- 11 pm*

_“John?”_

“Sherlock, tell me the dream. Slowly.”

_“I’m not sure how much- John?”_

“Yes?”

_“John are you… touching yourself?”_

“No, that rustling was just a crisp packet. Use your giant brain you genius.”

_“Oh.”_

“Now tell me the dream, slowly.”

_“Well we were in Victoria Park.”_

“Why Victoria Park?”

_“I like it. I used to go there as a child and feed ducks with Mummy.”_

“Awwwww, tiny Sherlock feeding ducks.”

“ _Something tells me this is not helping your situation.”_

“Yep, pretty much dead now. But tiny Sherlock awwwwww.”

_“And then I got on my knees.”_

“And we’re back online folks.”

_“And you started saying the most awful things to me but for some reason I liked it.”_

“You really are a kinky bastard.”

“ _And then I started unbuttoning your-“_

“Yeah?”

“Sherlock?”

“Sherlock?”

_“John I have to go- the dames are doing inspections.”_

“Oh don’t you dare you giant-“

-disconnected-

 

 

I hate you

_No you don’t- SH_

Shut up

_Make me- SH_

I miss you

_I know- SH_

_How much longer?- SH_

152 days

_Intolerable- SH_

 

 

*phone call- 2 am*

“Sherlock?”

_“Oh good you’re awake.”_

“I am now you git. What’s wrong?”

_“I miss your eyes.”_

“That may be the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

_“I mean it. I miss them. They’re like small oceans.”_

“You’ll see them at Christmas.”

_“Too far away. Send me a picture. By post”_

“You want me to send you a picture in the mail of my eyes?”

_“Of you. All of you. And maybe also a letter.”_

“What would I write in this letter? I text you everything that happens to me anyway.”

_“You could say it all again. I wouldn’t mind.”_

_“John, why are you laughing?”_

“Cause everyone says you’re a sociopath but you’re really just a romantic tosser.”

_“Am not.”_

“Are too.”

_“How much longer?”_

“148 days Sherlock.”

“….”

_“Let me listen to you fall asleep.”_

“Alright love, alright.”

 

 

I sent you the letter.

_Really?- SH_

Yeah. You should get it soon.

_It’ll be my very first letter at Eton- SH_

You don’t get letters from your Mum?

_No, she calls. I’ll open it in the dining hall so everyone can be jealous- SH_

Best not.

_Why?- SH_

I sent you quite a slew of pictures.

_No- SH_

Can’t say I’m proud of it.

_I adore you- SH_

I know, you berk. I expect a letter back.

_Starting on the pictures now- SH_

Christ.

_Really John, must you involve him in all of our dirty conversations? –SH_

I adore you.

_How much longer? – SH_

145 days.

 

 

 

_Dear Sherlock,_

_Well I really don’t know what to say. Hope you like the pictures I guess. But don’t hang them by your bed- don’t want the dames getting the wrong idea do we?_

_I miss you a lot. Mike asked about you_. _I told him the truth, he’s my oldest friend. I trust him. I didn’t tell anyone else though. I don’t know if you want me to. Did you tell anyone? No, of course not, you hate everyone there. But c’mon Sherlock, you have to have at least one friend at Eton._

_Everyone’s been really careful with me, you know, cause of the dad thing. I know they’re just trying to be nice but I hate it. Makes me feel like I’m fragile. You were never like that. After I told you, you didn’t treat me any differently. Heck, you heard me having violent nightmares and you just made me run. I wish someone would do that with me here._

_The house feels bigger now that he’s gone. Mum cries a lot. Harry’s started coming home more though. I think Mycroft’s a good influence on her if you can believe that. She’s drinking less. I am too. I know you told me Holmeses were only good at destroying things but you guys have done a pretty good job of fixing us._

_54 days till Christmas Sherlock. I miss you so much it hurts._

-          _John_


	4. Chapter 4

 

_Sherlock_  , John ,  **Mycroft**

 

You got my letter

_I adore you John Watson- SH_

Taking that as a yes.

Did you like the pictures?

_Oh yes- SH_

_Especially the last one.- SH_

Which one was that?

_The one that involved your neck. You know that’s my second-favorite part of you- SH_

What’s the first?

_Your brain, obviously- SH_

Not where I thought you were going with that.

_Has anyone told you you’re an awful pervert, John Watson?- SH_

Who me? Never.

_How much longer?- SH_

139 days Sherlock

_Too bloody long- SH_

 

 

*phone call- 7 pm*

“Sherlock?”

_“John, what’s wrong?”_

“You will not believe what just happened.”

_“You solved Fermat’s Last Theorem.”_

“Harry came out.”

“….”

_“Well that’s hardly surprising.”_

“No it’s not. What’s surprising is that _Mycroft_ sat there with her.”

_“No.”_

“He held her hand.”

_“You’re lying to me John.”_

“Swear to god.”

_“I will call you back in two minutes.”_

"Sherlock-“

-call disconnected-

 

*Phone Call- 7:05*

**“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite brother.”**

_“What are you playing at?”_

**“I’m afraid I don’t quite get your meaning.”**

_“Going to John’s house. Encouraging Harry to come out. What’s your scheme?”_

**“Is it really so hard for you to believe that I care about someone Sherlock?”**

_“Yes.”_

**“You wound me.”**

_“We both know you don’t care about people Mycroft. Need I remind you that caring is not an advantage?"_

**“And yet I changed your bed sheets for three years so Mummy wouldn’t know you wet the bed.”**

_“Shut up.”_

**“So mature.”**

_“What are you doing Mycroft?”_

**“Could it be you can’t accept that I care about Harry because that would mean you weren’t the only Holmes to care about someone else?”**

_“Shut up.”_

**“Not so unique now, are we? Not the only Holmes to break the curse. And poor John-“**

_“Leave John out of this.”_

**“I am no more an iceman that you are a sociopath Sherlock. Be careful giving labels to people if you don’t want your own. “**

-call disconnected-

 

 

*Phone call- 7:15*

_“John?”_

“Sherlock, I was starting to think you’d never call back.”

_“John, you know when I say I adore you, I mean-“_

“I know Sherlock.”

_“How much longer John?”_

“Don’t cry Sherlock, please.”

_“How much longer John?”_

“135 days.”

_“I need you so badly.”_

“I know love, I know.”

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

_Dear John,_

_I wake up every morning and it’s like a part of me is missing, a part that smells like honey and smiles like sunshine and has eyes you could swim in if you asked nicely. Is it wrong, for me to need you this badly? I’ve only known you for four months, god, and this should be pathetic and beneath me but it’s not. I’m addicted to you John Watson and hells if you don’t know it._

_You said I must have one friend here and you’re right. I do. His name’s Jim. You would hate him. He’s an awful person but I put up with it because he’s like me John. He has a brain that runs a thousand miles per hour and he gets me. Gets my headaches and fiddling, my nerves and my spirals._

_I thought Jim was the best I would ever get John. I thought he was the best I would ever have. I thought the only friend I’d ever have was a boy who sells drugs in his spare time and blackmails for fun. And then you came along John and you changed me. You picked me up and spun me around so thoroughly that I thought I was going to throw up but then you kissed me and everything was right. You make everything alright._

_And I know I’m a bit not good. I’m a lot not good. But you make me want to be good John._

_I adore you._

-          _Sherlock Holmes_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have created a Harry-Mycroft shaped monster. Do I regret it? Not a wink


	5. Chapter 5

_I’m going to kill them all- SH_

That’s a bit of an extreme reaction

_Who spends Christmas in France?- SH_

You do, obviously.

_They’re trying to keep us apart John. It’s a conspiracy-SH_

Sherlock, your mum likes us. You heard her, she hasn’t seen her sister in years.

_That’s because my aunt Helen is a troll- SH_

I’ll see you Easter, alright?

_Not alright.- SH_

Are you pouting?

_….No- SH_

You big baby.

_Shut up- SH_

Or maybe you’re just going into withdrawal…. What was the phrase again? Right, you compared me to heroin.

_I said I was addicted to you John; you could very well be cocaine- SH_

It was a lovely letter.

_I try- SH_

Especially the pictures.

Where exactly did you go to take these?

_In my dorm room- SH_

You dirty, dirty boy

_How much longer?- SH_

132 Sherlock.

_Perhaps I should make you a calendar- SH_

I already have ideas for what you should wear for August.

 

 

 

How are things with that inspector?

_Lestrade? Great. He told me he’s this close to a promotion because of me- SH_

So you’re still solving cases for him?

_Of course. Otherwise I would have made good on my threat to burn Eton to the ground- SH_

Have you ever considered therapy?

_Considering I have a doctorate in psychology from an online college, it seems like a waste of time- SH_

Of course you do.

_Granted, it’s a bit harder to solve the cases without my favorite corpse.- SH_

I’m honored I could play such an integral part.

_You are the most integral part- SH_

I’m hugging you.

_No you’re not.- SH_

Use your imagination, you berk

_Ah. Got it- SH_

Just don’t let this guy take advantage of you okay?

_I’m more than capable of protecting myself- SH_

I know.

_How much longer?- SH_

130 days

 

 

 

*phone call- 3 am*

_“Planes are boring.”_

“You know what’s not boring? Sleep. Which I was doing quite well till you called.”

_“I was supposed to see you in seven hours.”_

“I know.”

“ _If I kill my aunt Helen, will you testify for me in court as a character witness?”_

“Oh you don’t want me testifying about your character.”

_“Mycroft’s being a git.”_

“You say that like it’s news.”

**“-Sherlock! Come back here!-“**

“Sherlock what’s going on?

_“I may or may not have stolen Mycroft’s phone and am running through the airport with it.”_

“I adore you.”

_“I adore you too, you-“_

**“I am going to kill you so slowly, you beg for it!”**

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

_Merry Christmas- SH_

Merry Christmas love

How are you holding up?

_Aunt Helen’s still a troll- SH_

Sorry about that.

_And you?- SH_

Good. Harry brought a date.

_Really?- SH_

Yeah. Named Clara. I like her.

_Tell Harry to stop texting Mycroft, she’s ignoring her date- SH_

Harry’s not texting Mycroft.

_What?- SH_

Yeah, she’s hardly touched her phone the whole night.

_Then who on earth is Mycroft texting?- SH_

Someone official?

_Can’t be, he’s smiling at the phone like an idiot- SH_

Oh, that’s obvious. He’s texting a crush.

_Mycroft doesn’t have crushes.- SH_

Everyone has crushes.

_Oh no- SH_

What?

_If he’s texting that man, I will kill him John, I will. – SH_

Who?

_I work with the bloody man! Why can’t he respect boundaries?- SH_

… He’s texting Lestrade?

_I need to go John- SH_

_I have a brother to kill- SH_

Before you ask, it’s 124 days.

_Thank you- SH_

 

 

 

*Phone call- 4 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Hey Sherlock, it’s John. Hope I’m not dull. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas-“

**“Tell Mycroft I say Merry Christmas!”**

“Text him yourself Harry! Sorry. Anyway, I wanted to do it in person… sorta. I know you miss me, I miss you too. I’ll see you Easter though, alright? Or your next long leave. Or whenever you can really, I’ll take it. I adore you, you berk. Merry Christmas.”

-call disconnected-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys, you know that right?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you're going to hate me. I know! I had to do it though. *hides*

To: Here’sJonny@email.com

From: Thescienceofdeduction@email.com

Subject: Bored

It's been nearly a month since we talked, John. I tried to write you another letter, twice. But I know you're busy. You just have no idea how boring it gets up here. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only person in the world who thinks, who feels. I know you’re busy with A levels and you can’t text or call much, but it’s so awful without you. I feel empty, like I’m not even real. I’m a ghost.

Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you. Call me when you have time. I miss you.

-          Sherlock

 

 

 

*Phone call- 6 pm*

“Hey there.”

“ _No test tomorrow?”_

“Yeah. Little bit of a reprieve. Sorry I never replied to your email.”

“ _It’s alright. You’re busy, I understand.”_

“How was your day?”

_“John, if you want to tell me about your day you can just talk about it. No need to be polite.”_

“Is it so hard to believe I legitimately care what happened to you today?”

_“It wouldn’t be if your tone, diction and pacing didn’t clearly indicate otherwise.”_

“Jesus, you can never forget who you’re talking to with you.”

_“Isn’t that the point of conversation?”_

“We had a career fair today.”

_“Who did you talk to?”_

“There were some doctors from Barts’. They were really informative.”

_“Who else did you talk to?”_

“What makes you think there was someone else?”

_“Must I explain to you the finer points of tone analysis?”_

“There was this army recruiter-“

_“No.”_

“What?”

_“No. You are forbidden.”_

“Sherlock, I just _talked_ to the guy.”

_“Unimportant. You are not allowed to join the army. Understood?”_

“Jesus. Got it, not allowed.”

_“I forbid you.”_

“Heard you the first time. Now tell me about your day.”

_“Utterly boring. No one interesting has died in weeks.”_

“Sorry, I’ll make sure to let the serial killers know you’re bored.”

_“Thank you so much.”_

“Sherly darling, you called?”

“Sherlock, who is that?”

_“No one important. I’ll call you back later, okay?”_

“Sherlock-“

_“It’s no one John. I promise.”_

“Alright, I trust you.”

“It’s 102 days.”

_“I know.”_

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

_Stop it – SH_

**Why is it you only ever text to yell at me? I’m starting to think you dislike me little brother- MH**

_I’m at the Met trying to talk to Lestrade and he’s barely listening to me because he’s too bust texting you!- SH_

**Who?- MH**

_Stop pretending you don’t know who he is! You have an eidetic memory!- SH_

**Is that your little inspector? Why would I be texting him?- MH**

_Because you always take everything that’s mine. You never let me have anything of my own- SH_

**Someone’s a bit touchy- MH**

_You have your own things Mycroft! Why do always need to take mine too?- SH_

**Sherlock, regardless of whether I am texting this inspector of yours, people are not objects. You can’t call “dibs” on them- MH**

_Just leave him alone- SH_

**This inspector of yours is a grown adult. He can make his own decisions- MH**

_You’re manipulating him!- SH_

**Do you really think so little of me Sherlock? That I would manipulate the people around you so you would have no friends of your own?- MH**

_You hate me- SH_

**Oh no little brother. I may one of the only people in the world who most definitely does not hate you. –MH**

 

 

 

*Phone call- 11 pm*

_“Mycroft’s an utter twat.”_

“Hello to you too gorgeous.”

_“He takes everything from me! He doesn’t even like the inspector; it’s just a challenge for him. He just has to prove he could have anything I have just as easily.”_

“Sherlock, your brother is not out to destroy you.”

_“Easy for you to say. You don’t know him.”_

“True.”

“….”

“Sherlock?”

_“Yes?”_

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Remember I spoke to you a few weeks back about that career fair-“

_“No.”_

“Sher-“

_“I forbade you!”_

“Sherl-“

_“You said you wouldn’t!”_

“Sherlock can I just explain?”

_“What’s there to explain? You’re joining the bloody army!”_

“It’s not that simple-“

_“Oh it’s plenty simple. It’s so simple a baby could understand it.”_

“Sherlock I just-“

_“You made me a promise John, do you remember it?”_

“Sherlock-“

_“You promised me you would never leave me if I promised I would never leave you.”_

“I’m not-“

_“Guess we’re all breaking promises tonight.”_

“Sherlock!”

“Sherlock?”

“Sherlock this isn’t funny.”

“Shit.”

-call disconnected-

 

_Where are you?- SH_

Oh, my darling Sherly. Don’t tell me you finished it already? I sold you that bag just last month.- JM

_Are you on campus or not?- SH_

You know where to find me darling- JM

_Don’t fuck with me Jim. None of that shit you sold me last time- SH_

I have just the thing for you my little _angel_. Black tar heroin good enough for our precious Sherly?- JM

_How much?- SH_

Oh Sherly, must I tell you every time that there are far more _pleasant_ ways of paying me?- JM

_I’ll bring cash- SH_

 

 

*phone call 11:15 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock pick up your phone! Sherlock please, I’m scared to death right now. Can we please just talk about this?”

 

*phone call 11:17 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock. this isn’t funny. Sherlock, I’m begging you, pick up your phone. It isn’t like you think it is. Sherlock!”

 

*phone call 11:20 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock I will literally do anything you ask, just pick up your phone. Sherlock, I know you’re mad but please, can we talk about this first?”

 

*phone call 11:25 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock, you are acting like a child! This is so immature, you have no idea. Be an adult and pick up your phone! Sherlock, you are better than this, you utter twat.”

 

*phone call 11:30 pm*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock I’m sorry, that was awful. Just pick up your phone. Or just text me you’re alright. You can be mad at me, that’s fine. You don’t even have to talk to me. Just let me know you’re not doing anything stupid.”

 

*phone call 12:34 am*

_“Hello, you’ve reached the voice-mail of Sherlock Holmes, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious. If you are boring, hang up now. If not, feel free to leave a message and I’ll decide if you’re dull or not. Mycroft, you will never find the cookie tin. Give up.”_

“Sherlock it’s been over an hour. I’ll leave you alone, I swear, I just need to know-“

“Hello?”

“Sherlock, oh thank god, I was going to call-“

“Terribly sorry, Sherlock’s a bit… preoccupied at the moment, aren’t you darling?”

“Who is this?”

“John is it? Odd how he never told you about me. I’d be ever so offended if he wasn’t doing utterly _delicious_ things to me right now.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“I really must thank you John, you trained him _incredibly_ well.”

“Listen here you sick son of a bitch, let me talk to him right now or I’ll-“

“Gotta run, John. Lovely speaking to you.”

-call disconnected-

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I told you guys I loved you? Remember? Just keep that in mind, okay?

*Phone call 12:42 am*

** “Hello?” **

“Harry, I need Mycroft’s number.”

** “John, what’s going on?” **

“Harry please, it’s an emergency. Please.”

** “I’m texting it to you now. John, is everything okay?” **

“No Harry, everything’s shit and I’ve made a mess of everything.”

** “John, stop crying I can’t understand you.” **

“I need to go.”

** “John!” **

-call disconnected-

 

 

*phone call 12:51 am*

**“Hello?”**

“Mycroft you need to get to Sherlock now.”

**“John, what is going on?”**

“He’s in trouble Mycroft. I called and this guy answered and I think he’s taking something. Mycroft please, I don’t have the car, I can’t get to Eton and no trains are running, you need to go-”

**“John, take a deep breath. What happened?”**

“I told him I was joining the army.”

“…”

“Mycroft I’m so sorry, I know this is all my fault. I didn’t think he would-“

**“I’m on my way now. I’ll keep you informed.”**

“I’m so sorry Mycroft.”

**“It’s not your fault.”**

“Yes it is.”

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

*Phone call 1:00 am*

** “What’s going on John?” **

“I told Sherlock about the army and he flipped. He keeps heroin under his bed Harry; I think he might’ve done something awful.”

** “John breathe. Mycroft’s taking care of it.” **

“What if he’s too late Harry? What if he’s too late and Sherlock’s-“

** “John. It’s Mycroft. He can fix anything.” **

“You didn’t hear Sherlock on the phone Harry. I broke him. Dear god, I broke him.”

** “John, he’s fine. Mycroft is going to take care of him.” **

“I made him a promise Harry.”

** “I know baby, I know.” **

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

*Phone call 2:30 am*

“Mycroft?”

**“He’s okay John.”**

“Oh thank god. Where is he?”

**“He’s in the hospital now. He’s just being examined.”**

“The hospital? Why the hell is he in the hospital?”

**“John, I don’t know if you want to hear this-“**

“Tell me Mycroft.”

**“He had a minor overdose.”**

“A _minor_ overdose? How is an overdose minor?”

**“John-“**

“Who was that man on the phone? Mycroft, you need to arrest him, he may have attacked him-“

“ **John, that man was Sherlock’s dealer. This isn’t the first time he’s done this.”**

“…”

**“John-“**

“No. He would’ve told me.”

**“John, he’s ashamed of it. Of course he is.”**

“When?”

**“It’s not so-“**

“When Mycroft?”

**“All last year.”**

“Jesus.”

**“He spent last summer in rehab. We thought he was better.”**

“He never told me shit.”

**“John-“**

“Let me talk to him. Can I talk to him?”

**“He’s not up to talking right now. I will let you know how he’s doing.”**

“Thank you Mycroft.”

**“This wasn’t your fault John.”**

“Easy for you to say.”

-Call disconnected-

 

 

 

*Phone call- 9 pm*

“Sherlock! I didn’t think you’d pick up. They told me you weren’t talking yet but I had to try-“

_“You called Mycroft on me.”_

“What?”

_“You called Mycroft on me.”_

“Of course I called Mycroft on you. I was worried sick, I thought you hurt yourself, I thought-“

_“I hate you.”_

“Fine, that’s fine. I don’t care if you hate me, as long as you’re alright, you’re safe. I would call him a hundred times if I thought it would’ve helped you.”

“…”

“Sherlock?”

_“Don’t call me again.”_

“Sherlock I-“

_“Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t try to get in contact with me.”_

“Please Sherlock, I just-“

_“I don’t want to hear from you again, do I make myself plain?”_

“Christ, Sher-“

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

 

He won’t talk to me.

**My brother is in many ways a child. He will calm down- MH**

Have I ruined everything Mycroft?

**No. You may very well have saved his life. It is no secret that you are the best thing to ever happen to Sherlock- MH**

What do I do?

**Nothing. I will keep you informed on his progress. He returns to Eton next Wednesday- MH**

I don’t mean about that.

**Give him time. He will come around. -  MH**

For how long?

**I can’t tell you John. I’ve been giving him time for sixteen years.- MH**

I’m doomed.

**All heroes are- MH**


	8. Chapter 8

To: Here’sJonny@email.com 

From: Mikey@email.com

Subject: Bring out your dead

                Hey dude. We’re all worried about you. You’ve been walking like a zombie for the past two weeks. You okay man?

-          Mike

 

 

 

To: Mikey@email.com

From: Here’sJonny@email.com

Subject: Still breathing

                Hey Mike. Thanks. I’m okay, really. Have I really been acting like the dead?

-          John

 

 

 

To: Here’sJonny@email.com 

From: Mikey@email.com

Subject: King Tut looks more alive than you do

                Are you sure everything’s okay? You can talk to me John, it’s me. Mikey. We tell each other everything, remember? Is this about that Sherlock kid?

-          Mike

 

 

To: Mikey@email.com

From: Here’sJonny@email.com

Subject: He couldn’t play rugby, could he?

                It’s just kind of hard to talk about really. Yeah, it’s about Sherlock. How did you even guess that?

-          John

 

 

 

To: Here’sJonny@email.com

From: Mikey@email.com

Subject: Neither can you, you dead git

                A bloke knows when another bloke is nursing a broken heart. So, you two broke up?

-          Mike

 

 

 

To: Mikey@email.com

From: Here’sJonny@email.com

Subject: I’m not _nursing_ anything

                I think so. I’m not even sure, that’s part of why it hurts so much. But we haven’t talked in two weeks now. He says he needs space. Well actually he told me never to talk to him again but I’m pretending he just said he needs space.

-          John

 

 

 

To: Here’sJonny@email.com

From: Mikey@email.com

Subject: Cor that’s hard

                Your house, twenty minutes. I’m bringing alcohol. There may or may not be James Bond films involved.

-          Mike

 

 

 

To: Mikey@email.com

From: Here’sJonny@email.com

Subject: Goldfinger’s my favorite

                I think I might love you Mike. Door’s open.

-          John

 

 

 

 

I’m worried about you  
-message deleted-

 

It’s been nearly a month Sherlock and I-  
-message deleted-

 

I can’t do it. I keep trying to text you and I can’t make myself send it  
-message deleted-

 

Do you remember that time we drove out to the mountains and you had me teach you the names of the stars? You promised me you’d never delete that. Have you?  
-message deleted-

 

Christ Sherlock, I think I lo-  
-message deleted-

 

 

 

*phone call 8 pm*

** I’m worried about him. **

**There’s nothing we can do Harry. It’s between them.**

** You haven’t seen him Mycroft. I came home from Uni for the weekend and it was like living in the flat with a ghost. He doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep. I swear he’s dropped two stone. **

**If it’s any consolation, Sherlock is no better.**

** Then why won’t he just call John? **

**He’s stubborn.**

** He needs someone to take care of him. **

**I’ve been trying to take care of him for sixteen years. It’s near impossible.**

**Maybe John should call him**.

**Not yet. He’s been playing far too much Rachmaninoff.**

** So what does he play when he’s happy? **

**He doesn’t.**

** Enough of this. How is that Greg character? **

**We’re still very much casual. But the sex is _fantastic_.**

** TMI Mycroft darling. That being said, I want all the details. **

**Well, he has this habit of pulling my hair right before he-**

** Shit. Mycroft, my phone’s dying. Let me run and get my charger, k? **

**I’ll be waiting Harry. Making friendship bracelets and all that.**

** Oh shut up you. **

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

_I’m sorry I never told you_  
-message deleted-

 

_Do you hate me? I’d hate me. I already hate me_  
-message deleted-

 

_Mycroft said you look terrible. I wanted to cry. I want to cry all the time now_  
-message deleted-

 

_You were the best thing that ever happened to me  
_ -message deleted-

 

_I wrote you a piece on the violin. I play it sometimes and pretend you’re listening. You always tell me it’s amazing. I always tell you of course it’s amazing, it’s about you._  
-message deleted-

 

_Christ John, I think I lo-_  
-message deleted-

 

 

 

**His room is 643A. Wotton House. The dame is Donna Parks. Tell her you’re his cousin.- MH**

Did he ask for me?

**I think he’s ready to see you, whether he asked or not.- MH**

Will he talk to me?

**I don’t know. But I wouldn’t have given you the information if I didn’t think he would.- MH**

Thank you Mycroft.

**No John. Never thank me. I’m only using you- MH**

It’s okay Mycroft. It’s okay.

**The next train to Eton leaves in twenty minutes- MH**

I know.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two points, my lovelies. Yes, I know Sherlock's text don't have a signature. It's cause he's not sending them, not cause I'm lazy.
> 
> Secondly, it's time for another conversation. I'm terrible at making decisions,as you all know, so I leave it up to you guys. Shall we follow proper regulations and have John attend Uni for 4 years becoming a doctor, giving us some fun Uni stories, some house party drama, maybe a little scandalousness, before John leaves us for the army? Or shall we sod the rules and have John go straight to the army in September, giving us one last angst filled, desperate, over-the-top fluffy (and maybe even sexy?) summer?   
> Let me know. As always, all my love
> 
> \- Shay


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was an incredibly hard decision and I hope I managed to make everyone at least a little bit happy. Okay, you're all gonna hate me. But it's not so bad, I swear! You'll see.
> 
> And we break from our usual texts to something more... dramatic ;)

John hovered on the edge of the doorway, willing himself to raise his hand and knock. _This is ridiculous,_ he reminded himself. _You’re not scared of Sherlock_. And he wasn’t. He was scared of what he’d find, a Sherlock thinned and wide eyed, spaced out and distant. _A Sherlock who doesn’t love you anymore._

In the end he didn’t have to knock. The door was partially open and all John had to do was push it open gently. Sherlock was sitting up and tangled in his sheets, his hair a nest, his fingers flying across a laptop keyboard but he looked up as John entered and put it down.

John felt pain, like he’d never felt before, shoot through him as Sherlock stayed where he was and didn’t run to him, didn’t bury his face in John’s neck, didn’t kiss him breathless.

“You’re alright,” John said breathlessly and it was such a stupid _stupid_ thing to say to Sherlock. Of course he wasn’t alright.

“I thought I made it clear I didn’t want you contacting me,” Sherlock said in monotone from the bed and John’s insides twisted so tight he couldn’t breathe.

“Yeah,” John ghosted out, trying out a laugh. “But I’ve always been terrible about rules.”

They just stared at each other a moment, both carefully sizing the other up, before John couldn’t take it, had to know-

“Let me look at you. Please. I’ve been so worried-“ he couldn’t talk, couldn’t explain to Sherlock the dreams of a thin, starved Sherlock, high and strung out.

Sherlock didn’t say a word. He got out of bed and untangled himself from the sheets, letting himself stand in John’s line of sight. He wasn’t in his Eton uniform but instead in jeans and a gray tee-shirt _my gray tee-shit_ John realized with a shock and he almost collapsed.

Wordlessly he padded over and let his hands ghost over the younger boy’s thin arms and chest, turning medical, looking for bruises, for track marks, for cigarette burns. Sherlock’s breath came out in a puff and John stopped, turning his attention to Sherlock’s face, his hair, his mouth, his eyes, before settling his hands on either side of Sherlock’s face.

 _I missed you so much it hurt_ he wanted to say but he wasn’t sure yet what was allowed and what was not and he would not push this.

“Satisfied?” Sherlock said and John knew it was meant to be sarcastic and cutting but it came out weak and trembling and John lost it as he wrapped Sherlock in his arms and let his head hit the younger boy’s shoulder.

“You’re an idiot,” he choked out because he’d started _crying_ and dammit but then Sherlock’s hands fluttered up carefully to rest on John’s back and he let his head droop down to touch the top of John’s and John could _breathe_ again. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath for a month now but he had and now he could breathe and it smelled like cigarettes and honey and sunshine and _Sherlock_.

John wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, holding each other, but eventually he opened his eyes and they were in Sherlock’s bed, Sherlock head on his chest and John’s fingers in his hair and everything was exactly as it was supposed to be.

“I never told you,” Sherlock said softly, his words a tremor on John’s skin.

“No you didn’t,” John agreed, his fingers never stopping in Sherlock’s curls.

“You’re a morally centered person,” Sherlock excused. “I thought you’d object. I thought you’d stop talking to me.”

John didn’t say anything but his fingers dug deeper in Sherlock’s scalp, claiming, _you are mine._

“I clearly haven’t,” John finally said and Sherlock scoffed underneath him.

“Clearly I miscalculated,” Sherlock admitted caustically and John could’ve laughed.

Sherlock took a deep breath, steeling himself, and John wanted to tell him it could wait, he didn’t have to tell John now, but he did and they both knew it.

“I came to Eton when I was thirteen,” he started, his voice even. “I thought it would be a fresh start. Can you believe that? Fresh starts are incredibly romantic and inherently false. You don’t just become a new person because you’re in a different place.

“Everyone hated me. But that was okay, I was used to that. I knew how to handle that. But _Jim-“_  and there John’s breathing faltered, on that one name, and Sherlock gave him a moment before continuing. ”He didn’t hate me. And I didn’t know what to do with that. It was unique. I wanted to… _continue_ the experience for as long as possible. Whatever it took.”

John was trying to keep his breathing even as images of Sherlock, age thirteen, flooded his mind, a skinny boy with too much hair, too sharp a tongue and no friends save a-

“Jim dealt drugs,” Sherlock said like it was no big deal. “He kept telling me to try. Told me it would quiet my mind. Streamline me. Make me… normal. Make me pass for normal.

“It didn’t,” he laughed and John held him tighter. “But it was something else entirely. It made everything _bright_. I could focus because everything was _interesting._ I could spend hours just looking at something and I would never be bored. It was the most glorious thing John.

“And then Mycroft found out. They had me in rehab for a month, like it did me any good. I was _happy_ on drugs and I didn’t want to change that. And then I met you.”

Sherlock stopped and looked up and John, eyes so fragile behind a wall of grey and John wanted to kiss him.

“You were like heroin John, but better. You made everything interesting but _better_ too, like a flood. It was glorious. You were glorious,” he confessed. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

And then John finally did kiss him, slanting his mouth to fit perfectly and Sherlock sighed happily into John’s open mouth as his tongue came out to meet his and they melted slowly into each other, fitting back together like puzzle pieces. Sherlock’s hand came up to nestle in John’s hair and John let his other hand trace patterns on Sherlock’s chest, trying for pirates off course, and Sherlock moaned appreciatively into him as he recognized the pictures.

“Sherlock-“ he started to say but he couldn’t. Couldn’t form the words. _Too soon. You’ll scare him._ “I’m not leaving you.”

“It’s okay,” Sherlock said, his forehead resting against John’s, their breath intermingling. “Everyone leaves me. My father, Mycroft, my mother. She sent me off to boarding school rather than leave but it’s simply semantics. It was wrong of me to expect otherwise from you.”

John grabbed him, holding on tight enough to leave bruises but he profoundly didn’t care. “I’m not leaving you,” he growled. “Do you understand me?”

Sherlock looked up at him, eyes wide and helpless. “But you are.”

“Just for six years,” John said, holding him tightly. “When I’m done you’ll be right out of Uni. We’ll buy a flat together. You’ll work for the met, I’ll be a doctor. It’ll be horribly domestic and we’ll hate it but it will be glorious.”

“You could die,” Sherlock said, his eyes never leaving John’s and John swallowed.

“Not really,” he tried smiling. “It’s a dual program. I’ll be mostly in the medical tent. May never see combat.”

“You’ll see combat,” Sherlock promised him and John couldn’t help the shiver that went up his spine. He _wanted_ to see combat. He _wanted_ this so badly but Sherlock couldn’t know. Of course, Sherlock knew everything.

“You won’t even miss me,” John tried. “You’ll be at Uni, exploding things and driving your teachers mad and working with the Met to save the world.”

Sherlock shot him a look that clearly read _don’t be an idiot. I’ll miss you constantly,_ and John tried again.

“You can write me letters. I get phone calls once a week you know. And there’s leave. I get leave every six months or so. I’ll see you,” he promised and he felt Sherlock relax underneath him.

“This will make you happy,” he said and it wasn’t a question but John answered it anyway.

“Yes it will,” he said honestly.

“Stupid nurturing complex,” Sherlock muttered and John kissed him again.

“When do you leave?” Sherlock asked once they’d thoroughly snogged.

“I report August 29th,” John told him. “We get one more summer.”

“And then the rest of our lives,” Sherlock filled in.

 _This is crazy_ , the rational part of his brain told him. _You know him half a year and you’re planning a life together. That is crazy._

And yet John could no longer imagine a life without Sherlock, a life where he didn’t have an incredibly annoying and incredibly brilliant man nattering in his ear, reminding him he was _brilliant_ in a way that mattered.

“Yes,” John said and Sherlock snuggled deeper, his arms winding themselves around John so tight he almost couldn’t breathe.

There was a breath, a space, and then Sherlock said,

“We never- Jim and I- when I told you you were my first kiss, it was true,” Sherlock tried to explain and John understood.

“He tried- I just. _John,_ ” he finally gave up and John looked at him for a very long time before saying,

“I know. I trust you.”

“Why?” Sherlock asked, honestly puzzled. “I never told you about my drug abuse. I told you never to talk to me again. I nearly killed myself. Why would you trust me?”

“Because I love you,” John said and he stopped as that filtered in through the dusty air, dimly lit by the setting sun and illuminated dust settling around Sherlock’s room.

John was silent. He wanted to ask to take it back, to make excuses, to beg _please Sherlock, I didn’t mean it, don’t get angry_ but he was tired of lying. He meant it. And now Sherlock knew.

“No one has ever said they loved me before,” Sherlock said softly and John couldn’t imagine it, a childhood where no parent ever stooped low over a cot and whispered _I love you_ , where best friends and childhood crushes didn’t say it meaninglessly, where older brothers never smoothed down cowlicks and said it through clenched teeth. And then it hit him.

“Yes they have,” John said and Sherlock gaped at him.

“I’ve been learning Holmesian,” John said, smiling. “Did you know that ‘I love you’ in human roughly translates to ‘caring is not an advantage’?”

Sherlock stared at him and for a minute John was scared he made a mistake and went too far but then Sherlock was kissing him and babbling and it took John a minute to hear what he said.

“I love you so much it hurts John. So much.”

And for a while they kissed and held each other and that was perfectly enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it appears we've decided to screw the rules. Let's not panic people- we get one summer of utter fluff and abandon first. And let me tell you. There will be so much fluff and angst in that summer, y'all will start loving and hating me at the same time. And it will be glorious. 
> 
> We've still got a bit more to go over here so sit tight. XOXOXO - Shay


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all needed some meaningless fluff, didn't we?

_How goes the studying?- SH_

Terrible. I should never have taken four A2s. How many As you taking?

_Six- SH_

Six?!

_I was originally going to do four but I decided to take Chemistry as well. And China Studies in Chinese. –SH_

That’s only offered in Singapore.

_I was bored- SH_

So you decided to learn the history of China, in Chinese?

_It’s hardly challenging in English- SH_

You don’t speak Chinese

_I do now- SH_

Why on earth are you dating me?

_Because what you lack in intellect you make up for in sentiment. –SH_

I’ll take it.

_How much longer- SH_

86 days.

_Still feels like too much –SH_

One day is too much.

 

 

 

 

*phone call 11:30 pm*

“Hey.”

_“Hi.”_

“Did I wake you?”

_“I was in the middle on an experiment.”_

“Oh I’m sorry.”

_“Don’t be. You’re far more interesting.”_

“Why thank you.”

“…”

_“John?”_

“Yeah Sherlock?”

_“Will we ever have sex?”_

“…”

_“John, why are you laughing? I believe this is a serious question.”_

“I know love, I’m sorry. It was just very out of the blue.”

_“I was just wondering.”_

“Do you want to have sex?”

_“I’m not sure. It sounds incredibly messy as well as painful.”_

“It is both those things.”

“ _But if you wanted to, I believe I could put aside my reservations on your behalf.”_

“There’s your answer.”

_“I don’t understand.”_

“We’re not having sex until it’s something you want, not just something you’re doing for me.”

_“But I want to do things for you.”_

“You are so unbelievably adorable, I stagger sometimes.”

_“I am currently elbows deep in a sheep carcass. I am hardly adorable.”_

“Jesus. Where are you?”

_“In the science lab. You’re on speaker.”_

“Oh. They let you in the science lab at 11:30 pm?”

_“’Let’ is a relative term.”_

“Of course.”

_“You haven’t answered my original question.”_

“Right, sorry. Um, I hope so. Eventually.”

_“Do you want to have sex?”_

“Of course I do. I’m a teenage boy. That is literally all I think about.”

_“That would explain your grades.”_

“Ignoring that. But we’re not doing anything until you’re ready.”

_“But-“_

“You’re not ready. Trust me. You had your first kiss months ago. These things take time.”

_“Have you ever had sex?”_

“…”

_“John?”_

“Yeah, I have.”

_“How many times?”_

“Just twice.”

“…”

“Sherlock, are you upset?”

_“No. That’s good, I suppose. At least both of us won’t be entirely ignorant.”_

“I’ll be just as blind as you. I’ve never done it with a bloke.”

_“Still. The experiences bear certain similarities.”_

“It’s okay to be upset Sherlock. This was long before I met you.”

_“I understand and I am not upset. Sexuality is hardly quantifiable.”_

“I’m glad.”

**_“What on earth is going on here?”_ **

_“John, I think I have to go.”_

**_“Are you dissecting a sheep?”_ **

“Run Sherlock. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

**_“Get back here!”_ **

_“How much longer?”_

“ ** _Stop right now!”_**

“78 days!”

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

 

*phone call 3:45 pm*

“ **What did you do?”**

_“Nothing, I swear.”_

**“Sherlock, you don’t call me unless I’ve done something to offend you, which I haven’t, or you need my help.”**

_“John said I should call you.”_

**“Oh?”**

“ _He said I should thank you. For saving my life.”_

“…”

_“I understand I would have died had I not been brought to hospital when I was. So thank you.”_

“…”

**“Sherlock-“**

_“Don’t get used to it, Mycroft. I shall not be making a habit of these calls.”_

**“I wouldn’t dream of it.”**

_“I also believe you gave John my address. That was kind of you.”_

**“The boy is good for you.”**

_“Yes he is.”_

**“Sherlock-“**

_“John said you love me. I told him that is ridiculous; you wouldn’t succumb to such base sentiment.”_

**“Utterly ridiculous.”**

_“Quite so.”_

**“You know caring is not an advantage.”**

“…”

**“Sherlock, why are you laughing?”**

_“No reason at all Mycroft.”_

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

 

** Mycroft sends his thanks. **

You saw him?

** We have lunch once a week. Cambridge is only an hour from London. **

What’s he thanking me for?

** He says Sherlock called to thank him. We both assumed that was your doing. **

I suggested it. I didn’t think he’d actually do it.

** You underestimate how much that kid loves you. **

It just staggers me is all.

** It shouldn’t. You’re a good kid, Johnny. **

Love you, Harry.

** Love you too, little brother. **

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Sherlock,

I got all your letters. Even the ones I never replied to. I keep them in a pile on my desk and when I’m sad, I read them. I hear your voice in my head, with your inflections and casual disregard. You’re so above so much else. It makes me wonder sometimes why you chose me, out of everyone. And then I remember you’re a pain to put up with and I laugh. We’re good for each other, you and I.

I hope you like the pictures. The first one’s London from my room window. The second one’s the view out of my homeroom window. The third one’s my best friend Mike’s living room. Those are the things I see most every day. So if you ever miss me, you can look at them and chances are we’re looking at the same thing. You’re only two hours away and yet I feel like I can barely reach you sometimes. It’s times like these I wonder how I’m going to make it through Afghanistan. They’re nearly 6000 kilometers apart. I know that doesn’t help. I’m supposed to be the one making the whole thing sound manageable.

It is though, I know it. Because for us, you trapped in Eton, and me without a car, we’re just as apart now as we will be then. And we’re managing just fine. We’ll be okay Sherlock, I know it. This may be ridiculously sentimental but you know what they say, love can conquer all.

Love, John

 


	11. Chapter 11

*phone call 11 pm*

_“I liked the pictures.”_

“Yeah?”

_“I hung the one of your bedroom window on my window at Eton.”_

“That’s incredibly romantic.”

_“Don’t tell Mycroft.”_

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“…”

_“I did some reading about sex.”_

“Jesus Sherlock.”

_“It has so far been incredibly unhelpful.”_

“What have you been reading?”

_“Human anatomy and reproduction textbooks.”_

“Perhaps you’d like to try something a bit less… scientific.”

_“Ridiculous. What good would that do?”_

“…”

_“John, are you laughing at me?”_

“Of course not! Sherlock love, you know I never laugh at you.”

_“Then what is so funny?”_

“I’m going to send you a book, okay?”

_“That would be most helpful.”_

“Don’t open it at the dining hall table.”

_“How long John?”_

“45 days love.”

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

 

 

Guess who’s finished all their A levels?

_You- SH_

Excellent deduction.

_Thank you. I did have a pool of 30,000 graduating students to choose from- SH_

Tell me you’re being sarcastic.

_Of course. It was obvious from your framing of the question you were referring to yourself- SH_

I need to get you more up-to-date on pop culture references.

_I’ll pass- SH_

Not an option.

_How long John?- SH_

36 days

 

 

_Dear Sherlock Holmes,_

_You are cordially invited to the graduation of the senior class of the New London High School, Monday, June 13 th at 7 pm. The graduation will be held at the Royal Festival Hall located within the Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, London. Please RSVP at your nearest convenience. We hope to see you there._

-          _The Administration, New London High School_

 

 

 

 

_I can’t go- SH_

What?

_To your graduation. It’s a Monday night and I’m still stuck here.- SH_

I figured as much. Don’t worry, I’ll see you soon enough.

_I really want to see it, though- SH_

I know, don’t worry. I’m not offended.

_Will Harry be going?- SH_

Yeah, she’s coming back from Uni especially.

_Her phone has video capabilities, yes?- SH_

You mad genius you.

_I can hardly wait.- SH_

I’m properly excited now.

_How much longer?- SH_

24 days.

_Still too long- SH_

 

 

 

 

 

*Video call 8:30 pm*

_“Congratulations.”_

“Thanks! Sorry, it’s a bit loud in here, I can barely hear you. But I see you just fine!”

_“The ceremony was beautiful. Congratulations on your awards.”_

“I can’t even imagine how many you’ll get when you graduate.”

_“Ridiculously few. That’s hardly the point though-“_

**_“Is that Sherlock?”_ **

_“Hello Michael.”_

**_“Cor, Sherlock himself. You messed our Johnny up bad a couple of months ago.”_ **

“Mike!”

_“That I did. I’m very lucky John is the best man in London and has decided to forgive me.”_

**_“That he is.”_ **

“Both of you, that’s enough.”

**_“Right. Johnny, I came over to tell you Irene’s having an after party at her house.”_ **

“Erm-“

_“John, go. I’m happy to see you graduate. It was lovely.”_

“I’m so glad you could come- sorta.”

_“How much longer, oh wise college graduate?”_

“Six days you berk!”

-call disconnected-

 

 

 

 

 

_Dear John,_

_I do realize there’s no reason for me to send you a letter. By my calculations, and I’m never wrong, you should get this letter the morning you leave for our country house. And yet I wanted to write you one last letter, so to speak._

_I saw Jim two days ago, shortly after your graduation. I didn’t say hello. It made me feel stronger John, I can’t explain how, but I felt like I could conquer galaxies. See, you’ve taught me proper hyperbole. You should feel incredibly proud._

_What I’m trying to say, and failing really, is you make me a stronger person John. I can’t imagine a timeline in which we never met. But sometimes I imagine one where we met later, when we were both older and more broken. I wonder if we would have fallen in love then. It’s a miracle we even did now, both of us the way we are- already starting to fracture. Can you imagine us twenty years later, me a drug addict, you a war hero, trying to fall in love? Disaster._

_But we didn’t meet twenty years later. We met now and for what that’s worth, I’m grateful. I shall see you soon John. I love you._

-          _Love, Sherlock_

I’m outside.

_I know- SH_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've done it my lovelies! Don't you fret, Summer two will be up ridiculously soon. 
> 
> On a more personal note: all your comments, kudos and love staggers me on a daily basis. I love all you guys so much. This is as much your story as mine. Thank you so much. XOXOXO- Shay


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